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Parent and teenager

My teen won't talk to me: where to start?

Slammed doors, silences, arguments about school or screens: the relationship tightens and everyone feels unheard. Before looking for who is wrong, the assessment may help you see what is going on and what can be tried.

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Free, about 5 minutes. Your answers stay in your browser.

What the assessment can offer in this situation

  • Where the tension stands, and whether a conversation is still possible without a mediator.
  • What weighs: communication, rules and authority, values, outside stress.
  • Your needs, and questions to ask your teen rather than certainties about what they think.
Your safety firstIf your teen talks about hurting themselves, call 811 (option 2) or 1 866 APPELLE. In immediate danger, dial 911. If there is violence in the family, mediation is not appropriate for now: the assessment will point you to support resources.

What to do, in order

  1. 1

    Choose the moment

    Not in the middle of an argument, nor at bedtime or before leaving for school. Suggest a short, predictable moment, preferably not face to face (a car ride, a walk).

  2. 2

    Start with a fact and an open question

    For example: "I noticed we've hardly talked for two weeks and I miss it. What changed, in your view?" A sentence like this may open the conversation more easily than "Why do you answer me like that?". The tool "Prepare an invitation to talk" helps you write it.

  3. 3

    Separate rules from the relationship

    Some rules are not negotiable (safety, health). Others can be. Telling them apart can keep every disagreement from becoming a test of the relationship.

  4. 4

    Get support

    The Parents Line (1 800 361-5085) offers free, confidential professional support to parents, 24/7. Tel-jeunes (1 800 263-2266) supports young people aged 5 to 20.

  5. 5

    Consider parent-youth mediation

    When the conversation stays blocked, a neutral third party can offer a space where everyone can speak without being interrupted. The process starts with a preliminary meeting with the parents, then an individual meeting with the young person, before guided family sessions. The young person must agree to take part.

What Onesence offers

Onesence offers parent-youth mediation, adapted to the young person's age. It is neither therapy nor family mediation (separation, divorce), which we do not offer. Fees are given at first contact.

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Frequently asked questions

My teen refuses mediation. What can I do?
Mediation is voluntary. You can attend a preliminary meeting on your own to understand the process, then let the young person decide. Forcing participation would go against the very principle of mediation.
How is it different from family mediation?
Parent-youth mediation aims to restore dialogue between parents and young people. Family mediation deals with separation, divorce, child custody and child support. Onesence does not offer the latter.
Is this therapy?
No. Mediation aims to help everyone express themselves and look for agreements. It does not replace psychological follow-up if you or your teen need it.
Can I take the assessment before talking to my teen?
Yes. The assessment is confidential and stays in your browser. It can help prepare the conversation without anyone else knowing.

Take stock before choosing a next step

The quick overview takes about 5 minutes. You get one possible reading of your situation, and tools that may help you move forward even if you never book a meeting.

Take the quick overview

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This content is informational. It does not replace legal advice or professional follow-up.